Book Review

Book Review: The Big Sister’s Guide to the World of Work: The Inside Rules Every Working Girl Must Know by Marcelle DiFalco and Jocelyn Greenky Herz
By The Liberal Arts Dude

If you have a kid sister about to graduate from college or who is working their first job and you are considering something to give them, this is the perfect gift. Come to think of it, I would recommend this book not just to women but to men as well. This is absolutely one of the best books I have ever read on negotiating the unwritten and often unspoken rules of workplace politics and dealing with your boss. It is a great advice book which I would recommend in a heartbeat to anyone.

The book is primarily geared to female entry-level workers—those who start out their professional lives as “Someone’s Assistant” in their job title. The authors are wildly successful by most professional standards: Jocelyn was Director of New Media for Hachette Filipacchi, a big media firm and Marcelle was editor in chief of Eating Well magazine. As of the time after the book was written and published, each has her own consulting firm. Both started out as lowly assistants and rose through the ranks of the corporate world, mentoring and giving advice on how to be successful to countless women (and men) along the way. They condensed and collected the advice they have given into a book.

I read the book cover to cover and I must say it is jampacked with excellent, practical, realistic advice. So much good stuff I would have to re-write it to give you the full scope of how good it is. Here are some highlights:

• The difference between someone who is miserable in their job and not getting anywhere and one who is happy and is going somewhere boils down to attitude and political instinct. If you have a toxic or a negative attitude, no matter how hard you work or how talented you are, people (read: including those in power and authority) will avoid and ignore you. It is up to you to create the image and attitude that will make you visible to your colleagues in a positive way.

• The Backscratch: a mutual exchange of favors from one colleague to another. “The more favors you do, the more people who favor you, the more favorable your reputation.” If you’re gonna play this game, though, be aware there are unwritten rules to it. And the authors show you those rules (p.25)

• Chat and Hum: The dreaded word “networking” defined – but in terms that are actually useful and easy to understand. Networking, according to the authors, is actually just Chatting—having meaningless conversations; and Humming—a state where as a result of favorable chats, two people establish a relationship where they mutually like each other. As with anything, there are unwritten rules to Chatting and Humming (p. 42)

There is a chapter on how to survive and perform well on a job interview. There is another chapter on how to fit in to your new environment as a new hire. Another chapter on establishing a positive and visible reputation in the office (appropriately enough, titled: “Be a Girl with a Reputation”). A particularly useful series of chapters is on verbal and nonverbal communication and how most entry-level workers flub it when it comes to saying what they mean at the office. If you notice you aren’t getting any respect at the office, chances are you are presenting yourself in an awkward, immature, or an otherwise, self-defeating way. The authors’ advice—you can change that by changing your demeanor—your posture, they way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the way you communicate both verbally and non-verbally.

Chapter 8 is titled “Who to Trust?” – the chapter is all of one page and simply says “No one.” Very wise and very true advice. There is a chapter on planning so you are always in focus of your life and where your work and career fit in it; a chapter on how to relate to your boss; how to deal with conflict and mean people; and finally, dos and donts in the office.

I can’t even begin to do justice to how spot on the advice the authors give in the book. That is why I am encouraging you to get a copy and to read it—and pass it on to anyone you know who seems like they are struggling to find their bearing in the world of office politics or who are poised to enter that arena pretty soon. I only have two criticisms of the book and they are pretty minor ones:

• The language can be somewhat too cutesy and can be off putting. I must admit I got annoyed at first when words and expressions like “sistah,” “uppity-uppers,” “nah nah nah nah goo goo” were used. But I promise if you slog through them you will find the annoyingness factor disappear and you will read the book to be the gem it is.

• For a book purporting to be supportive of women, I found that both women and men are stereotyped in many ways. Men, for example, are portrayed as being all into sports, naturally politically savvy in the office, and highly competitive and aggressive in conflicts but are able to shrug it off and not take it personally. Women are emotional, not naturally adept at office political games, and for the most part need to be conditioned and taught how to communicate effectively. Not true for many men and women I personally know.

In any case, despite these minor quibbles, I highly recommend this book. Five stars out of five.

Copyright 2005